Mysterious Disappearances
Signs of our times
by The Phantom Photographer

To: The Editor
Date: March 16, 2005
Subject: Great Sign War

My assignment was to document the Great Sign War in upper Westside Village. So I went out the afternoon of Tuesday, March 15, to get the pix.

Sure enough, somebody had posted a number of hand-lettered signs on Queensland Street utility poles urging a "no" vote on Question 8 in the Mar Vista election that evening. And one on Ellenda. Obviously a labor of love, although I do not know much about love.

Question 8 was the one that asked if Westside Village should be a part of the Palms Neighborhood Council instead of the Mar Vista Community Council, as it is now.

Somebody had stapled smaller "Vote Yes" signs — yellow in color — high above, on the same poles. I took my photos.

I figured upper Westside Village was a hotbed of crime with all this surreptitious signage, even though our bleeding-heart, tree-hugging so-called "progressives" would call it an exercise of free speech at the grass-roots level.

I figured my job was done and I had earned my pay. I went home.

Later that evening, I was paring my toenails when I got to thinking.

What if somebody decided to rip those signs down at night, in the dark, when no one was watching? Naaah! This is America, not a Third World banana republic.

Still . . .

I grabbed my camera and went back to Queensland.

I was shocked.

The little yellow "Yes" signs were gone. Vanished. Astray, away, AWOL, elsewhere, ghost, playing hooky, missing, no-show, out, removed.

The big "No" signs were still there.

Someone had to be pretty tall — or equipped with a pruning tool — to get at the little signs. They were gone. Or did I say that?

They had lasted no more than seven hours, I should wager — although normally I do not wager.

It could have been a gang of squirrels, hopping from pole to pole. Who am I to say? I am a photographer, not a gumshoe.

Please pay my bill promptly.