What are these people doing? Who asks such crazy things?

Why, Cuddle Monsters, of course.

Since April, Palms has been the home of Cuddle Party, a combination workshop and social event that focuses on clear and honest communication, boundary-setting and -holding, and affectionate touch.

Created in early 2004 by New York relationship coaches REiD Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski, Cuddle Party has since spread like wildfire. A year ago, REiD and Marcia began training and certification of Cuddle Party Facilitators in New York, New Jersey, Alabama, Washington, California, and even Australia and Canada!

Cuddle Party is increasingly lauded by psychologists and laypersons alike as a safe, non-sexual space for people to explore intimacy and affectionate touch.

Palms resident Andrew Schwartz and I met in January of last year to discuss launching Cuddle Parties in Los Angeles. Connecting through a CraigsList.org activity partners ad, Andrew and I soon discovered that we lived just blocks from each other in Palms.

We quickly decided to partner in the endeavor, and Andrew completed facilitator training in Los Angeles in February 2005. Since April, we have held a few events each month in the Palms area.

But what is Cuddle Party?

Many of us have forgotten the days of girlfriends piled on sleeping bags on the floor at a slumber party, best friends walking down the street holding hands, and all the other ways that children integrate physical contact into their socializing.

Cuddle Party aims to provide adults with tools for bringing touch back into their social lives.

In addition, touch and affection are essential “nutrients” for our bodies as well as our souls. Besides the necessities, our bodies probably want us to appreciate them for what works, not to bemoan them for what doesn’t work any more, and definitely not to hate them for the way they look.

They most likely also want some kind of sensual stimulation. Think of how wonderful it is just to get a five-minute chair massage at the health-food store: our bodies are dying for us to be nice to them.

A Cuddle Party consists of about an hour of orientation,with 15 rules and some exercises, helping people feel safe and assured that no one is going to hit on them.

Then, during the two hours of freestyle cuddling, we ask and require a verbal yes for each form of touch (as in “Can I touch your shoulder?” “May I rub your arm?” “Want to lean on me?”). Cuddle Party opens up the chance to take baby steps, to be really conscious of each level of touch as it progresses, and to quickly recognize when one of our boundaries has been reached.

At a cuddle party it is clear to participants that each step is a stand-alone, and participants are encouraged to change their minds, mingle, and experiment.

You can learn more about Cuddle Party in Los Angeles at www.cuddlela.com.

We hope to see more neighbors at our events soon!